Christmas went really well.
We stayed here and spent it at my mothers because we spent Thanksgiving at Donny's parents this year and next year it will be vice versa.

This year we went ALL OUT on Christmas presents. I made really good money at work the weekend prior to Christmas so I figured why not? And we bought some of the presents the day after Thanksgiving so it wasn't like we spent all of the money at once. It felt really nice to look at our tree and see a ton of presents underneath it. Especially since last Christmas, the only person I got anything for was Donny. I think that was the only person? But I made probably close to a grand in five days at work so blah blah.

What I got for Christmas:
Robe.
Slippers.
I Love Lucy calendar.
I Love Lucy dvd's.
Boys Don't Cry dvd.
Salvador Dali calendar.
Hand blown crystal candle holder from Ireland.
Foot spa.
Tears For Fears poster straight from the 80's.
Rihanna CD and dvd.
Gloves.
Hat from Forever 21.


I went all out on Donny this year. Along with a number of other things I got him, I got him an Xbox 360 Pro and four games. He feels like he didn't get me much but I don't care about that because all year long I spend all of the money I want on myself and he never gets to indulge in expensive gifts for himself.


Our family opens our presents on Christmas Eve so we went to my moms to do that. My grandma is in town from Florida so she's been baking away. She made a trillion different cookies like she always does on Christmas. We sat around, snacked on appetizers, played some Sing Star, and went home to play Xbox. For the first time ever I was able to get my mom just about everything she wanted for Christmas. God, we spent so much on Christmas. It had to be about $1600 give or take. It was all worth it, though.

On Christmas we went over there for dinner and afterwards we saw The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. It was a really good movie but I had to pee so incredibly bad and it was almost three hours long so the whole time I just wanted it to get over with.

After holding my pee forever I went to the bathroom and it seriously felt like I had one extreme orgasm after peeing. It was fucking weird. And then for about an hour after that, that sensation stuck in my bladder making it feel like I had to pee. I think in the span of an hour, I peed five times. But most of them were mostly just a little bit. I know you don't care to hear this but maybe you know what it is? And I still get that intense sensation after peeing. So intense that I actually make noises after peeing. I'm thinking I might've contracted a urinary tract infection. But it doesn't BURN after I pee. It just feels really really good. And we had sex last night and it felt REALLY REALLY good. So I don't know what the fuck.


All I know is I made $200 at work today and I don't work tomorrow. HELLZ YES.
I think Stephanie and I are having drinks tonight and dinner? HELLZ YES.


Oh and for New Years, we are going up to Donny's parents.
I know Stephanie absolutely hates the idea but if I'm going to be down here and not with my boyfriend and I'm getting drunk and stupid and pissy because he's not there to kiss, it just wouldn't be worth it. :[


Stephanie, I know you leave soon but you have to understand.
FUCK, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.
At least I get to walk her all the way to the gate. I'll be the last one to see her!

I've just now noticed how everybody I know is growing apart.
We're all getting into relationships, getting jobs, living on our own, and spreading out to different directions.
It makes me so scared to grow a day older.


I know I've been boring.
I never want to go do anything. I don't like to go out because it's just such a hassle.
I'd rather just hang out at home.

I finally sat down and wrote down how much money Donny and I make a month and then broke down the bills so we could have a plan and figure out how much money we could spend on what WE wanted. We are desperately trying to get our credit back in tip top shape so we can afford the life we want and live somewhat stress free. We have an idea where we want to end up when our lease is up in this hell hole. It's this place called Minneapolis Grand off of Chicago Ave in Minneapolis. I have expensive taste. Mostly due to the fact that I know I deserve the finer things in life. I've never wanted to settle for less. If you have the money, why not?

We make more than enough money a month to survive. I'm just so compulsive and I'm probably the worst procrastinator with things that matter. Like rent. I always wait until the last week and then scramble to get the $1000 together. It's ridiculous. Now that we have a plan, I feel like we're going to be okay and we're one step further to getting married or getting a house and just continuing our lives together.

Tomorrow is our one year anniversary. It's so crazy to think that at one point in time I was the girl who was deathly afraid of commitment and didn't see myself with anybody for a very long time and now I've been with somebody for a whole year and everything is as perfect as it was when we were first together with the exception of the minor fights and stuff that every relationship goes through. The important thing is that the love hasn't died and I still see us together forever and not many people can say that when they reach this point.


My birthday is on Thursday which is okay I guess. I still haven't accepted that I will be one year older. To me, everything after twenty-one is all down hill. Now I feel like I should be married and having kids. Which isn't what will happen but it just feels like the next important step in my life. Besides school, I guess.

Speaking of school, I promise to everybody that I will look into school when I get all of my tax information come January or whenever we get it. I just want to go to school for so many things that it's so hard to narrow them down to just a couple. I know I could always change my mind but that just seems like wasted money to me. I've always had a big imagination. Maybe it's time I grow up a little bit. Which is ironic because my whole life I've felt that I've grown up too fast. I just need to find that balance, I guess.

My mom wanted to take me to my favorite restaurant, Fogo De Chao. But it's so expensive and she's just not in the position to be dropping hundreds of dollars on me for my birthday dinner. I've really been looking forward to it but I'm trying not to be selfish for once. She feels really bad. I'll live, though.


I called my dad two weeks ago today. He told my sister that he didn't want to hear my excuses? Even though in the message I left him because he didn't answer his phone, I stated that I know he doesn't want to hear an excuse so I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I even cried and said it killed me to not talk to him and have him in my life. And how did he respond to it? Saying he will TRY and call me back in a week or two. Well it's been two and I haven't gotten that call and I'm so far over it. I can't believe that he would hold a grudge over $700 when he has more money than he can even spend to begin with. I never held that grudge when he used to hit my sister and I. I still loved him. I moved away from the abuse but I never stopped loving him and talking to him over it. It hurts me a lot to know that he is treating the situation like this but once my money thing gets handled and I can send that $700 to him, I'll send it with a note telling him to just let it be and not to call me until he can do it without the lecture. I know what I did wrong, I don't need him making it worse. We'll see if he calls me on my birthday. At least I sent him a card on father's day.

Well, that's all.

FRIENDS ONLY.